Update

Long time... no posts... but I'm still here, reading and thinking (as of July 31, 2014).

• I need a pretty good parser; Stanford NLP is probably the closest thing. Unfortunately it has to be near-universal so building the required training set could take some time.
• LLVM could be taking over the world; if so, I could get the universal compiler and runtime I need

So perhaps the ultimate programming is not too far off. Must investigate further...